


Run

by Onehelluvapilot



Series: Febuwhump [15]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e04 Lancelot and Guinevere, Extended Scene, Gen, Self-sacrificial Lancelot, because of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:41:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29465952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onehelluvapilot/pseuds/Onehelluvapilot
Summary: Lancelot tells Gwen to run and not look back in the tunnels of Hengist's castle, but really, isn't he the one really running away? Merlin helps him see sense.
Relationships: Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Lancelot & Merlin (Merlin)
Series: Febuwhump [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2134998
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	Run

“Take this tunnel,” Lancelot said, pointing down it. “It will take you out beyond the castle walls. I will buy you as much time as I can.”

“I am not leaving you,” Gwen replied, and Lancelot knew if he ever, for a single moment, forgot that he loved her, the memory of this fierce look of determination on her face would remind him. Not that he would have much time left in which to forget it. He could hear shouts and stomping feet down the corridor.

“You must.”

“No!” she practically shouted. “I am not leaving you here to die!”

“I would die for you one hundred times over.” He raised his hands reverently to her cheeks, feeling her curly hair beneath his fingers and the soft skin of her cheeks beneath his calloused palms. She was so much better than him; he felt blessed to be allowed to touch her. If he let her come to harm... “Live for me, or everything that I am has been for nothing.”

Gwen kissed him. Lancelot was so startled that it took him a second to realize what was happening and return it, but thankfully, he had plenty of time, as she did not pull back. Her lips were soft as clouds and he thanked whatever goddess had granted him this taste of heaven before he died. He wasn’t afraid to pass on, now, though he was worried that even the afterlife would not be able to compete with this.

She pulled away, opening her eyes and gazing up at him with a lovestruck look he was not worthy of. “As long as I live my feelings for you will never fade,” she promised him.

“Run,” he urged her, because if they did not part now they never would. “Don’t stop until you are well away from me. Don’t look back. Run. Run.”

Gwen, wonderful Gwen, of course did. He prayed, as he cut and slashed and hit the men sent after them, for easy terrain and sure footing. That her legs would not grow tired, that any pursuers that got past him would trip and break their ankles. His last thought, as the pommel of a sword came down on the back of his neck and knocked him out, was a prayer for her safety.

The instant Lancelot saw Gwen again, his heart sank down to his hands, bound behind him. His hope seemed to flow out through his knuckles into the bloodstained stone floor of the cage. He was disgusted by himself when the thought that flickered through his head that at least he wouldn't have to die alone. Because no, there was nothing good about Gwen's presence here. She shouldn't have have even been forced to watch the brutality of the cage, much less die in one. She should have died of old age, surrounded by friends and family, not torn apart with just him for poor company. 

When he saw Merlin through the bars of the cage, he smiled so hard a few tears pooled in the corners of his eyes. And Arthur was there too! There was hope again. Not much, but maybe he could keep Gwen alive before his death.

"Take Guinevere, I'll hold them off," Lancelot said after they were freed and the four of them reached the tunnel. He avoided looking at Gwen as she protested, not knowing if he could bear to say goodbye to her a second time. Arthur nodded to him in thanks as he dragged the woman away.

He should have known Merlin would never let him die. And that when he returned alive, it would be rather awkward between him and the woman. Especially since it was already clear that she and Arthur had feelings for each other. He offered to take the first watch later that evening, and eventually Merlin came to talk to him.

"Is it true that Arthur came to rescue Gwen because 'Morgana begged him'?" He asked the servant. "He has feelings for her, doesn't he?"

"What about you? Do you have feelings for Gwen?" Merlin asked in response.

"My feelings do not matter." Lancelot knew this to be true, as strongly as he knew that his own life was only worth what he could do to protect others. "I will not come between them. Tell Gwen...tell Gwen that she has changed me forever, but some things cannot be." He turned, ready to run away and never look back like he had instructed her to do down in the tunnels.

"Wait, what?" Merlin asked, grabbing his arm before he could take even a single step away. "You're leaving?"

Something about the warlock's bright blue gaze, which was locked onto him with disappointment in his eyes, made Lancelot ashamed. He wanted to run away, but it affixed him to the spot, his feet feeling glued to the ground. He wondered if Merlin was subconsciously using his magic to keep him there. The only way for him to break the intense eye contact was to duck his head and look down at his boots 

"Listen, Lance, I don't know what ridiculous self-sacrificial idea you've gotten into your head about leaving to make them happy at the cost of your own joy and life, but I can practically guarantee you that it won't work," Merlin began to rant. "For one thing, I don't think Gwen has made up her mind yet, about you or Arthur, and she won't appreciate having that choice taken away from her if you leave. And did you even think about me?" Lancelot swallowed, ashamed to admit that he hadn't even considered his best friend's feelings on the matter. "Or Arthur? He was practically as heartbroken as Gwen and I were when you left! Even Gaius, Morgana, and Leon were sad to see you go."

"I'm still banished from Camelot," he murmured as a weak defense against his friend's logical arguments.

"Oh please, we both know that was a self imposed exile because you would rather be alone and miserable than dare to come between people in any way. If you'd let Arthur argue for you, you could have stayed. And now, you might even be able to get your knighthood back, since Morgana and Arthur will both fight for you since you rescued Gwen." 

Lancelot was going to protest that Merlin himself had done more to help during the rescue than he had, and that if any commoner deserved the knighthood it was therefore him, but the servant wasn't done talking yet and interrupted him before he could even open his mouth.

"And even if they can't convince Uther to reinstate your knighthood, you can probably get a job as a guard, or… or… Gaius needs an assistant still, since I'm so busy with Arthur all the time, or you could learn blacksmithing and take over Gwen's forge. You could be a stable boy if nothing else!" Merlin's voice was starting to grow desperate. "I know you think it would be easier to flee, Lancelot, but I don't want you to be killed in a cage fight because you ran away from your friends that could help you find your way. Please, please stay."

Lancelot, being who he was, could never ignore a cry for help like that, so he nodded. Merlin smiled.

"I'll take the next watch," he said, tone softening. It hadn't yet been two hours, and Lancelot was about to object that his shift wasn't over yet before he realized that the warlock wanted to take over so that he could make sure the fighter didn't sneak away in the night. He was ashamed to realize he hadn't given Merlin any real reason to trust him. He'd have to do better in the future, now that he was going to stay with them. "You should go get some rest."

Lancelot hugged Merlin before going to lie by the campfire. He took a place as far back from it as he could without freezing, since it would be inappropriate to sleep near Gwen, but despite the cold, he slept better than he had in months. His friends were nearby, looking out for him. He hadn't run away, and he wasn't going to be alone any more. 


End file.
